It kills me. Not so long ago I was writing this post about our Christmas plans.
It was always going to be random this year: Ross had hired a clubrooms where his Dad played rugby (or something sporty) and the family was gathering – a family I would meet for the first time. Now of course Ross is dead and I’ve met all the family. Christmas is still on, at the clubrooms but missing a major piece of happy Ross wearing who-knows-what-hat grinning from ear to ear at the simple pleasure that is eating whatever the hell you like for lunch on Christmas Day.
I’m sure Christmas will be fun and Julie, Tom, Matt and I will enjoy ourselves (or dull the pain with a LOT of wine) but right now I can’t get in the mood. Tinsel no longer excites me, Christmas shopping, sales and advertising seems grotesque and I have no desire to hear Christmas songs or see Santa.
I can’t imagine Christmas shopping (I’m wondering if I can do it all online) and quite honestly am pretty much stuck for ideas, which is very unlike me.
This Summer holiday I’m looking forward to gardening, sun, the swimming hole and fresh berries from the Greytown orchard. I’m hoping Julie will come and visit and that the new spare room will be done in time. Forgive me if I seem a little bah humbug.